Wednesday, May 5, 2010


L writes:

a) I am going to regret not going to bed at a decent hour tomorrow. Really, is it almost 12:45?

b) I have been decidedly uninspired in the last week. I've decided that this is because I dress up for people who I think will notice and appreciate it. Not that my team this week won't appreciate it, but they're no Brown Eyed Girl.

c) How do you get inspired when you're feeling fat, ugly, bored of your closet, and generally frustrated with life?

I have no answers at the moment.

Online shopping is just depressing me. I'm going to NYC in July for a week, and I've already promised myself a $500 budget. I can't afford to shop emotionally right now. I'll be staying with a friend in NJ, who has generously offered her mailing address if I wanted to order from some US retailers in advance and pick up my purchases when I arrive. I am, without a doubt, going to take her up on this.

But shopping is like a sonnet. The excruciating structure and the rules are what make it a creative endavour for me. I go for sale items. Price limits me. It limits my choices. I really need the guideline of price, otherwise I wouldn't even know where to start. Sometimes that scares me: if I were left to my own devices amongst a sea of regular-priced items, I don't know if I could really perform fashion-wise.

I've been trying to figure out what I want to buy online from US retailers, and I am simply overwhelmed. I've identified a few retailers that I need to hit up online, but I still feel like I'm browsing without focus.

Victoria's Secret

I want everything, but I'm too afraid to buy anything.

(Does this speak to the underlying guilt that seems to underpin the worldview of every immigrant child in Canada?)